The Pope leans towards Julius and says, “Do you know that with one
little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild
with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your
followers, but go deep into their hearts and they’ll forever speak of
this day and rejoice!”

Julius replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your
hand? Show me.”

So the Pope slapped him

Barney jokes: What is the difference between peanut butter and jam?

Based on what I read and heard on the golf course, this one is a dirty joke..

before I forget

Twitter Marketing Secrets was a fantastic little gem I stumbled across yesterday

Here are the best quotes and peanut butter quotes I found

Quotes and peanut butter:

* The quote of the night went to Barney. He said it to Ted upon learning that PJ was a guy (after his initial rant about that being the case) – “PJ is going to be getting a very confusing card in the mail, along with a garment that he should by no means wear for three days and then mail back to me.”
* I actually had several choices for best lines tonight, so I’m going to give one more, it was said by Marshall to Barney –”Oh I have that thing that makes me a guy… maybe even a guy and a half.” (The newspaper guy was a close runner-up for a quote too).
* Finally, the difference between peanut butter and jam. I looked that joke up after they refused to give us the punch line. Lily was totally right to disappear for four weeks. I saw two endings to that joke, and neither was remotely acceptable in polite company. I can’t even link to the answers here. The joke was however a great way to make Lily appear briefly in the show before letting her take off.

and before you take off why not Discover How To Tap Into One Of The Most Powerful Viral Traffic Machines Online And Make More Money Than You Ever Imagined Using Twitter Marketing Secrets

When someone raises their hand and identifies himself as having interest in your business, it is just plain dumb to make only one attempt at selling to that person - or equally dumb to let that lead “chill” before follow-up.

Recently I attended a very expensive product launch. The organisers had gone to great lengths (and expense) to get a large crowd to attend, a critical step in creating goodwill and customers for life, I give them full marks. When we arrived we were directed to a registration desk where no-one seemed to be in charge, there was a mass of people not quite sure what to do next! I noticed that someone had the foresight to create a registration form requesting name, number and email address yet no-one bothered to ask me to fill it out. I was curious to see whether I would be contacted and whether the company was going to use their advertising Rands in order to follow up, so I completed the form and left it on the table. I noticed that I was only the 3^rd person on the list.

“A follow-up to the same list within 30 – 45 days will pull 40% to 50% of the first mailing” Bob Stone

This suggestion initiated my thinking about marketing funnels and mailing sequences. It turns out Bob was and is WRONG; in some cases, the follow up mailing, phone call, voice broadcast or fax, and in many cases: a series of follow ups can actually out-perform the first contact or product launch results. However at a bare minimum Bobs’ number should occur.

Using this number, it is very easy to determine whether or not you should do a second contact – are you profitable with half the results you got from your first contact? If so, and you do not follow up then you are an idiot!

People attending this launch are not there for the “free lunch” they are there because they are interested in what you or your product can do to enhance their business or wealth. So not following up, or presenting me with the benefits I would have by doing business with them, they wasted a golden opportunity and a lot of marketing Rands.

To illustrate further, I recently left a restaurant after a meal and noticed that when the waitress logged into the computer screen to enter an order, it read “Sell Wine and Sell Desert.” This restaurant probably serves over 100,000 meals a year. If 20% of the customers are sold a dessert or glass of wine that they would not normally have ordered, and the restaurant makes an extra R10.00 profit on each sale that’s an extra R1,000,000.00 worth of profit. The power of upsell and follow up “profits” alone can make a business owner rich.

If someone invests X Rands to get me to a launch or make a phone call in response to his advert, and then has done nothing else to try and turn his investment into business. Dumb. See, having the first move right is useless if all your moves aren’t right.

Because virtually nobody does a decent job with follow-up, when you do, your competitive edge is huge and automatic.

For more information and ideas on better business strategies and multiple profit streams claim your free report

People are now plugged in and connected non-stop from eyes opening to eyes closing, iPod in one ear, invisible phone in another, computer and TV integrated, text messaging, checking e-mail, ad nauseum. They think that’s making them more productive. It is not, anymore than running faster in the wheel gets the caged hamster anywhere. In fact, it makes them less productive simply because they are less in control. Less in control of their time, their order of priorities, their very thoughts. Less in control of the environment in which they sell and communicate.

Contrary to simplistic interpretation, I am not anti-technology. I like using it to make money, solve problems or enhance productivity. But that’s not what’s happening for most people.

In his best and most important book, ‘Grow Rich With Peace Of Mind,’ Napoleon Hill wrote of having his phone disconnected to shield himself from a rising tide of intrusion he could not control. He preferred using it only to make calls, not to receive them (just as I do, all these years later.) Imagine what he’d think of what the telephone has become: an out of control octopus.

Those who teach and sell “time management” often say ‘time is money’ and everybody conceptually concurs – although few actually treat it as such; and they often say that your income reflects your use and value of your time….but the precise truth is, your income reflects your control of your time. And you really want to pay close attention to who (or what) is in control of or interfering with your control of your time…your energy, your thoughts, your opportunity to perform whatever functions you perform at peak performance.  All successful people fight, constantly, to regain control they let slip out of their grasp from one day to the next, one relationship to the next, one project to the next.
It gets away; I get it back. It gets loose; I round it up and fence it back in. That’s the way it is

Business leadership and effective communication is a skill so very few possess. For those of you looking for some inspiration, for some hope and certainty in an ever changing world take a look at Barack Obama’s victory speech after his landslide sweep to victory in the US presidential election. His meticulously crafted speech was broadcast to billions of people glued to their television screens. People from his father’s home town in Kenya danced and jumped in the streets as they watched one of their sons become the most powerful man in the world. New born babies were named Barack or Michelle after his wife in record numbers.

It then occurred to me the American marketing machine is true business leadership and effective communication and has kept a massive worldwide audience interested in this presidential race for over 18 months. With over half a billion dollars spent on the campaign trail polls showed a record number of voters. His victory is a meticulously crafted marketing lesson for any business owner,

With the world economy in peril Obama carefully used the euphoria to warn the world and the American public of the hard work that lay ahead, that there would be no quick fix, that America would engage with its friends and foes to make the world a better place for all. Thats business leadership, thats effective communication.

I couldn’t help think of the difference in style, business leadership, effective communication and charisma between Barack Obama and his African counterparts. While the jury is out on Obama’s ability to deliver on his promises we have to watch one of our leaders Toi Toi outside a court while waiting to see if one of the many charges brought against him by legal authorities are dropped.

As the world economic crisis ripples through South Africa, the thousands of cars being repossessed daily has the knock on effect of putting hundreds of dealerships out of business and thousands of people out of jobs, As the credit crunch takes it’s toll thousands of call centre and credit providers are soon to be out of work. Banks are shedding thousands of employees.

While the world was watching the campaign of the US presidential hopefuls South Africa’s new NEC took a swipe at president Mbeki, removed him and quickly installed a union stalwart - Kgalema Motlanthe as the new president. I stand corrected but that was over 2 months ago and what have the South African public heard from the new guy on top of the crap heap – Nothing, niks, nada, zero, zip.

With the issue of ongoing rampant crime – you’d think he might use this as an opportunity to address the nation, declare crime as public enemy number one and adopt crime prevention similar to New York major Giuliani’s policy of 3 strikes and you are out. Why not use the opportunity like president elect Obama did and call on the nation to unite, to work together for common goals to embrace peace and defeat poverty. Why not reign in the youth league by calling them to contribute to our society by developing community projects instead of allowing them to run riot, spread hate rhetoric and “die” for leaders who have shown very little leadership or moral authority. While Obama’s call to action by the American public to work for a better nation for all still echo’s in my ears ordinary citizens in South Africa still wonder what’s at the end of the rainbow.

While our chief of police is under investigation for corruption and hanging around the dregs of society, one of the lands highest judges wallows around on the taxpayers account waiting to see if he can use legal loopholes to get out of a drunk driving charge. Then we have a cash heist where the kingpin is a police officer and our friend and dictator uncle Bob has managed to cripple a nation and create over 4 million refugees by rigging 2 elections in one year. Add to that the public health service debacle, rampant corruption, cronyism, ever increasing unemployment a failing world economy and what does the most powerful politician in South Africa do.

He calls for a national debate on the Springbok emblem.

No wonder South Africa and its economy has just been down rated from “stable” to “negative” from international rating agencies.

A mentor of mine Dan Kennedy quotes a business leader the name I cannot remember, He says “most people are hanging around with their umbilical chords hanging out looking for a place to plug them in”

God forbid, can we not find real leaders to plug into?  Do we really need this type of business leadership and effective communication?

Detective Dave

While listening to Barack Obamas’ victory speech I could not but help think of the hope and euphoria this world class leader and orator has bought to the world at large, Yes We Can, solve the world’s economic crisis, through effort, hard work, persistence and the understanding that we are all one, Yes we can, solve world conflicts through dialogue and communication. Yes we can, solve the international health problems. Yes we can, Yes we can, Yes We Can are the words that keep ringing in my ears. Barack Obamas’ landslide victory seems to be what the whole world was waiting for as messages of congratulations poured in for President-elect Barack Obama the world looks forward to a new, less confrontational era in US foreign policy.

While admitting Barack Obama’s victory senator McCain “urged all Americans to unite and offer our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited.”

It stunned me watching the new clips was an interview by Jeremy Thompson to a hip young guy with a yellow shirt and leather jacket this guy looked as if he had just come out of Snoop dog concert. while commented on Barack Obama’s stunning win he said “all you brothers and sister out there, this just shows you to stand up and be counted, its time to take responsibility, pull up your pants, pull up your pants.”

So what does this mean to you?

Just before Barack Obamas’ speech a client was telling me about a Christmas party- having lots of toys left over he did not know what to do. His friend suggested he take them to an orphanage where he knows the children are in desperate need of love and toys. On a normal Christmas day he and his wife would run a soup kitchen but decided to visit the orphanage instead. As they arrived 50 wide eyed forgotten orphans dashed to greet them, with only one special teddy bear they asked the “mother” who they should give it to as they didn’t want a riot on their hands. She pointed to a room and said “there’s a little baby in there who has just been brought in by the police after being found abandoned in a field, I think he needs something to cuddle tonight!”

Shocked and dismayed by the malnourished baby his wife swept the tiny frail body into her arms to hug him and could not let go, a 15 minute deed of goodwill turned into 3 hours, Christmas day turned to a restless night as the abandoned gift of god did not leave their thoughts. When they called the next day to see how he was doing the “mother” suggested they give him a name, St Nic of Santa Claus fame came to mind – So Nicholas it would be.

Nicholas really needed love and help, after visiting the orphanage a couple times they asked if they would be allowed to look after Nicholas at weekends, to take him out on trips and give him the love he so desperately needed. After a few weekends it was getting harder and harder to give Nicholas back on Monday mornings he always became so quiet when they had to say goodbye. The wife asked her husband if they might consider adoption, initially he was against it, because of responsibility, financial ability and fear.

God and Nicholas had chosen them, deep down he knew it was gods miracle and will, they became his parents they had fallen in love with him – so Nicholas went home.

Nicholas is now three years old, causes major feuds as all friends and family stand in line to baby sit as much as they possibly can - He touches the soul and heart of everyone and fills their world with delight.

The miracle doesn’t end there…..

Nicholas was diagnosed with Autism his parents had taken him to a specialist who diagnosed him in about 30 seconds flat. BS they thought - furiously they researched all they could find about Autism believing Nicholas could overcome this 30 second diagnosis. After all the specialists believed he was not ‘off the scale Autistic’. Eventually they came across a society based in the U.S., with a representative in Johannesburg, which does not believe Autism exists, instead they believe it is to do with the internal organs.

After numerous tests they also found Nicholas had leaky gut syndrome and Lymes disease (parasitic infectious disease causing disability which is difficult to treat) To repair leaky gut syndrome Nicholas was prescribed various medication and vitamins which takes half an hour every morning to swallow. Wondering what all these pills taste like his father swallowed a couple and promptly threw up, yet Nicholas swallows them with minimal fuss. To treat advanced lymes disease you use a specialized machine which literally shakes the parasite from your blood cells, this takes 2 hours every night, not easy with a 3 year old.

Nicholas now sits and does puzzles like every other 3 year old. For his parents it’s like winning the world cup, as lack of concentration is one of his many “problems.”

Nicholas’ parents joined a group called the smartie kids and found many people in this land of beauty and splendour finding themselves white parents to a black child in a country that was torn apart by racism, hate and apartheid, that is now been torn apart by politicians drunk on power.

As you’d imagine, the father tells the story much better than I have here, requiring days, not a 1 page brief. It is an adventure story, a miracle, a gift, a story worth telling. Which is my point. At the moment, we all confront incredible uncertainty, even chaos in the world economy, in our own markets, and by extension, in our lives and minds. Everyone’s world is topsy turvy, our political leaders continue to allow followers their mindless hate rhetoric and the call to “kill” of their political adversaries – while they run the country like a bunch of drunken pirates. You may be tempted to wish for stability and security and predictability, you may loathe the urgent need to creatively reinvent, to zig, to zag you may resent recent investment losses, a loved one or the turmoil and chaos you think your life has become. All that is natural, understandable and shared; some minutes of most days I too indulge in such thoughts, sometimes for way too long. But if sailing was always smooth and a success status quo could be arrived at, each trip boring, each destination de-valued, there’d be a lot fewer great stories. Ultimately, the living of your own great adventure story is its own achievement, success and reward. Enjoy every triumph as you should.

If the youth of today, if Julius Malema today, if Jacob Zuma today called on the people of South Africa today to looked for inspiration and leadership he would do his people a greater service by saying have a look at Barack Obama take a look at Oprah, play golf like Tiger Woods what about Lewis Hamilton? They would say “pull up your pants, pull up your pants.”

While representing SA at the UN they wouldn’t stand shoulder to shoulder Robert Mugabe they would say sorry mate as in any democracy, in any united nation the will of people have spoken and if a guy called Barack Obama gets more votes than you just because his name is Morgan you don’t kill your people or call your militia to arms.

While the world now waits to see if president Barack Obama actually delivers on his promises former president Nelson Mandela joined thousands around the world in extending his congratulations to Barack Obama yesterday.

Mandela said Barack Obama’s victory had demonstrated that “no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream and want to change the world for a better place”.

Mandela said he supported Barack Obama’s commitment to the cause of global peace and security

You can watch Obamas Speech

And our humorous version here

Network marketing is done widely over the Internet. This movement has made network marketing much quicker
and easier for everyone, but it’s got its downsides as well. Lots of people on the Internet are waiting to
scam you. This article will tell you the most popular forms of Internet scams when it comes to network
marketing.

Popular Scams

-Website Design
In order to be successful with network marketing, you must advertise and have a place for people to be able
to see what your company has to offer the world. For this, you need a website. It should be attractive and
well put together, so that it will catch people’s attention and keep them focused on the site. Many people
aren’t sure how to do this and don’t know anyone who will, so they look to professionals on the Internet to
create sites for them. While many of these businesses are legitimate, there are lots of them that aren’t.
Sometimes there is no way to know whether or not they’re legitimate besides trying them out. If you try them
out you’ve got a chance of getting scammed. So you pretty much have three options. The first one is to design
the website yourself. You may have to pay for the initial site and/or URL link, but you really don’t have any
other expenses besides that. This way, your website will be exactly the way you want it to be. And if there’s
something you don’t like about it, you can always go back and change it. Your other alternative would be to
hire someone that you know personally to design a website for you. With this, you’ll also have more control
than you would if you let someone over the Internet do it. Lastly, you could always take a chance and have
a site design your website. Make sure it’s a site that you feel good about. Learn all you can about the site
before you invest. Your chances of getting scammed are not as high if you do this.

-Consumers
Believe it or not, consumers can scam you. Some consumers may ask for your product and tell you they’ll pay
you when they get the product. Some ask for you to send the product and they’ll send you a check at the same
time. So what if you send the product and you never receive money for it? You’ve just been scammed and there’s
really not much you can do about it. Always make sure you have the money first before you send out your product.
Some consumers may not like that because they feel it will be easy for your company to scam them that way, but
this ensures that you won’t give a product away for free.

-Beginners Scams
Lots of people fear getting started with network marketing, so they look to the Internet for help. Scammers have
picked up on this, and some of them make lots of money this way. They’ll claim to have great tips on how to get
started for only $29.95. Well, don’t do it. You don’t know if they have tips or not, but they know they’ve got
your money and that’s all they’re worried about. Some scammers will even claim to send you books on how to get
started with network marketing. Most times, these offers are legitimate, but there still are people on the Internet
that scam you like this. Just watch out and don’t pay any entry or start-up fees for tips on network marketing that
you’re not positive you’ll receive.

If You Could Change Just A Few Things About Your Life, About The Way You Think, Change A Few Things About The Way You Do Business - - - Just A Few - - -

And Suddenly Experience A Lifting Of Stress, Struggle, Anxiety, Frustration And Uncertainty Accompanied By A Never Ending Influx Of Cash, A Much-Multiplied Influence With Others, An Accelerated Accomplishment of Your Goals. Would You Want To At Least Experiment With Those Changes?

David Leslie is owner of GettingOnTop and writes on a variety of subjects. For a FREE 7 Step Income For Life digital course and To learn more about profitable business, finance and marketing strategies visit http://money.davidlesliecash.com or start your own home based business with multiple income streams by visiting http://ZankeeMoney.com/pips.html

This article may be reprinted and passed on as long as the article is left unchanged and the links remain active.

Get MAD anytime you have to do something that you don’t really want to do (like going to work FOR SOMEBODY ELSE early in the morning)…

Get MAD for all the times you’ve wanted to buy something nice for yourself, go on a vacation, take the day off, or (insert your desires here) but couldn’t afford it…

Get MAD if you’ve ever worried when the stock market goes down…

Get MAD if there has ever been an opportunity to improve your life or the life of people you love, but you couldn’t take advantage of it because of time or financial limitations…

Get MAD if what you *REALLY* wish you could do in this life isn’t happening YET…

Why I’m a telling you to get mad? Don’t all the self-help materials tell you to keep a positive attitude… things will “work out”???

Guess what… THEY’RE WRONG!

*Before* you jump in and ride positive attitude parade, you need to get red-hot, ***boiling*** MAD about the way things are RIGHT NOW… It’s only when you GET MAD, get fed up and get really pissed off with the way things have been or the way things are now that you will take the ACTION necessary to change your current situation and make it into something better.

We are creatures driven by two desires only:

1) The desire to gain pleasure.

2) The desire to avoid pain.

And the latter is stronger than the former. We are much more motivated to *avoid pain* than to gain pleasure.

Yes, we are all driven by the carrot and the stick, but fear of the stick will get the average person moving a lot faster than a salad at the end of a hard days work…

Why do you *really* go to work every day? Is it because your pursuing your passion and some grandiose goals? I truly hope so! But most people get up and go to work because they FEAR losing their job and ending up homeless on the side of the streets begging for KFC leftovers to get them through the night… The desire to avoid this horrific pain is EXTREMELY motivational, isn’t it?! USE IT!!!

Don’t fight against the forces that govern your very existence… pleasure and pain. Use them wisely to your benefit. If you know that pain motivates you, MAKE YOURSELF FEEL PAIN so that you will TAKE ACTION and change your current circumstances. It’s OK to use your imagination here.

Think about what would happen if you got fired and couldn’t find another job for the next 6 months… How freaked out would you get then? Feel that.

Think about what would happen if you simply did nothing different for the rest of your life and continued to live the “status quo”, do-what’s-expected-of-you lifestyle that’s got you this far, and left many of your most sacred dreams and ambitions on the table. How painful will it be to be on your deathbed knowing that you never even tried to do what your heart was telling you that you *really* wanted to do in this life? Feel that.

Think about what not having enough time or money is NOT ALLOWING you to do that you really, really, really, really wish you could do (insert all the things that are important to you but seem out of reach right now here)… Feel that.

THEN GET MAD!

GET ANGRY!

GET FRICKIN’ PISSED OFF!

….. and then RIGHT NOW, before the feeling fades away or is numbed out of existence by your favourite television show or alcoholic beverage, MAKE A DECISION to change. That’s all it takes. As soon as you decide that you’ve HAD ENOUGH with the mediocrity you’ve accepted up to this point, the world shifts on it’s axis and will present you with new ways to think, new ways to act, new ways to LIVE.

Big doors swing on small hinges and the hinges that open the doors of opportunity are always the DECISIONS we make about what we will and what we won’t settle for in our life. If you allow yourself to get MAD ENOUGH, the “settling point” for what you can and will receive in your life will be raised and you will experience a better future… a future more closely aligned with WHAT YOU WERE BORN TO DO here on Earth.

So GET MAD, TAKE ACTION, and GET PREPARED to *be happy* as you start creating your life on your terms the way you always hoped it would be… and it can my friend - it really, truly can!

When I *GOT MAD*, I decided to find better way to make my living contrary to what my parents and society at large told me was possible… I’m so glad I did because now I’m living my dream life and helping others live theirs. Read my story at:

Get Even

Detective Dave

Subject: $633,798.35 FREAK Clickbank Account

Dear Subscriber,

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Does your Clickbank account
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Probably not… I didn’t believe
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Quite simply you need to
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How To Use Clickbank To Generate

Monster Ongoing Profits

- by Andrew Fox

© Andrew Fox - All Rights reserved

Dominate clickbank by clicking here

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ClickBank is the Internet’s largest digital
marketplace, where thousands of the
web’s most popular products are sold
every day.

What what people don’t realize is how
easy it is to get started with Clickbank
and how you can start generating
sales even if you have your own
product.

There are a few ways to do this.

1) Acquire Resale Rights to a product
you don’t own, create an page for
affiliates and supply them tools to
promote and feed of their efforts.

2) Promote products as an affiliate
using Pay per Click Search Engines

So which method is best?

I’ve successfully tried both methods,
both with good results.

For the beginner I recommend
promoting products as an affiliate
to get used to how the system works
and to help sharpen your pay per
click search engine advertising
skills.

Acquiring Resale Rights to a hot
selling product can be lucrative
venture when set up correctly.

In fact I managed to generate over
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I was able to do this by leveraging
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Once you have built a successful
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Clickbank is such an attractive
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Sometimes product owners
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done correctly.

Warm Regards,

Andrew Fox

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Andrew Fox has been marketing online
since 1999 and has sold millions of
dollars of products. You can view
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Free free to reproduce this article to
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Warren Buffett says happiness comes from within. And yet he has so much “external wealth” that millions of people read books about him to find out how it’s done.

Here’s a clue as to what his secret really is:

Warren Buffet doesn’t own his personal jet like the Hollywood stars do - even though he’s far wealthier. He doesn’t own a massive yacht. Or a mansion. Why not?

Because he doesn’t want those things and he’s not going to get them just to impress people.

I don’t think he’d object to owning these things if he truly wanted them. But he knows that a private jet or a massive yacht will not make him happy - and he doesn’t have either of those for his personal use because he simply does not feel the need. He can’t understand why you would want a huge yacht simply because it’s a bit bigger than anyone else’s. He lives in the same small three bedroom house that he’s lived in for the last 50 years.

Why? Because he’s happy like that.

These facts are well known, and they make a good story. But there is a lesson in there for all of us:

Warren Buffett doesn’t care a bit about what other people think. Some years ago when the stock market was going up and up - he wasn’t buying. He was ridiculed for doing nothing. But he knew one of the main rules of wealth - if there is nothing to be done, do nothing. He had the patience and the discipline to sit it out until conditions were right and then he took action - and hugely increased his wealth.

So it is clear that he takes a different approach to investing - one that ignores crazy crowd behaviour, the gurus, fashionable trends, opinion pieces in the financial pages, everything except what really matters. And it works.

The lesson?

Live in the house you want to, even if it is a mansion.

Have a yacht if you want to - if you really enjoy sailing. If it’s really you.

Do what really works for you.

And, importantly, find a formula for wealth that really works no matter what the crowd says. A formula that usually means you’re going in the opposite direction to the masses. A formula that works in any and all economic cycles. A formula like the Formula for Riches - simple, powerful, effective, tested, timeless.

If you do what you love and love what you do, you’ll be productive and happy. If you have the courage to be yourself, you can be all you could ever be. If you have the guts to stick to the truth no matter what others are doing, you will be wealthy.